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Comic-Con Final Thoughts: A 4-Day Double Rainbow video

• Jul 28, 2010 from FilmDrunk in Offbeat
  I dont plan to skip covering the news or turn this into my personal travel blog, but seeing as how I did attend my first Comic-Con this weekend, I figured some of you might want to know what thats like. If thats not you, feel free to ignore this post. I wont be offended. If you are curious, well HOLD ONTO YOUR MOTHERF*CKING HAT, MOTHERF*CKER! Because here is semi-thoughtful review of sorts.
  What Comic-Con Means to Me, by Carrot Tops brother, the clown-faced lesbian
  I went in expecting to hate it.
  For one thing, Im more of a comedy nerd than a comic book nerd, so Im not even really the target audience. Im actually really creeped out by this new trend of everyone rushing to prove that theyre the nerdiest. Of course, Comic-Con isnt actually about comic books anymore (Community has nothing to do with them, for instance, not even if you squint), but what it has become isnt exactly my flask of whiskey either. Standing in f*cking lines, people constantly handing you pointless trinkets, huge crowds of smelly, slow-walking weirdos, bored promo models in tranny makeup, publicists, studio flacks, and marketing people galore; all pandering to that mostly imaginary demo of guys who are supposed to like absolutely anything to do with monsters, boobs, gadgets, videogames, comic books, cartoons or anything originally intended for children. But probably my biggest reservation about Comic-Con was that its all taken on an air of the Worlds Most Photographed Barn. Were not sure why were standing in this line or where it goes, we just know we want to be at the front of it and post the pictures on Twitter.
  Being that Ive already admitted that Im not interested in what Comic-Con is supposed to be about, and yet I still went, I have to cop to being the perfect personification of all the shallow, venal things its become. If I was going to go, there was no choice but to accept that and say F*CK IT, IM GOING TO TAKE THE WORLDS MOST LOOKED-AT PICTURE OF THAT AWESOME F*CKING BARN.
  So was it exactly as sh*tty as I expected, like The Last Airbender?
  In some ways, yes. I waited in line two and a half hours for a Tron panel and three and a half for a Thor/Captain America panel, only to get turned away 10 people from the cutoff both times. And for what? A fluff press conference and pictures and video I could see online in a day anyway? Hastily put-together footage from a movie I could just wait to watch in its entirety? It wouldnt have been a worthless experience, Im sure, especially not if youre the type who likes to see how the sausage is made, but certainly not worth standing four hours in the sun for. Robert Downey Jr. is cute and all, but hes not that cute.
  Overall though, once Id accepted all those things I knew were going to suck, it was actually a memorable, enjoyable experience. Actually, thats not quite right. It was an experience.
  The things you imagine to be sad and pathetic (the grown-ups in costumes, the LARPing, the sweaty guys ogling) is actually kind of adorable and oddly charming. For every 18-year-old kid I saw in a FLYNN LIVES t-shirt1, I saw at least three groups of kids like this:
  
  Even if I have no idea what their costumes were or any interest in whatever anime circle-jerk panel they were attending, seeing how much they were enjoying it, I couldnt help but smile. And no, it wasnt charming only because they were teenage girls. Case in point, you get the same feeling from this guy:
  
  I might not necessarily want to take a long car ride with him, but theres a genuineness about him that just comes through. Its like that double rainbow guy; hes clearly batsh*t insane, high on drugs, or both, but just seeing a person enjoy himself that much is strangely endearing. For someone like me who doesnt really care about this stuff, the part of Comic-Con that doesnt involve standing in line, getting your feet stepped on, or trying to get into a party you dont care that much about anyway is like watching one big, four-day long Double-Rainbow video. It might be a train wreck, but its a train wreck that could use a hug.
  Yes, there were lots of red-faced creepos with way too much photography equipment (like me) falling all over themselves to get zoom shots of anyone with more than three square inches of pale, dimply, exposed flesh. But those costumes have an interesting effect. I cant tell you how many times I saw Jason Mewes or Rob Corddry or Eli Roth people who Id consider moderate celebrities anonymously sipping Starbucks five feet from a random black dude dressed as Pluto Nash whod attracted a cloud of 15 amateur photographers. Yeah yeah, were all narcissists who think were celebrities now because blogs and reality TV and blah blah blah, but its still fun to see the local overweight file clerk brimming with confidence and being treated like Lady Gaga just because she squeezed herself into cheesy Princess Leia costume.
  And about those lines. In the Thor line, I stood next to a guy who works in a maquiladora in Mexicali and runs an...