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Project Runway: Jackie O And Camel Toe

• Sep 17, 2010 from celebritynews1 in Entertainment
  Project Runway: Jackie O And Camel Toe is a post from: Celebrity News | Celebrity Gossip | BuzzHollywood.com
  Project Runway: Jackie O And Camel Toe is a post from: Celebrity News | Celebrity Gossip | BuzzHollywood.com
  Previously, Passanova got shipped off to Puerto Rico in a blow up raft and I cried in Spanish. We open today with Zombie Hivy trying to apply eyeliner to the twitchy eye.
  
  
  You're gonna poke your eye out, Zombie!
  
  
  The Project Runway Ambulance Corps is waiting outside already. This bitch died week two from drinking too many Diet Cokes on an empty stomach. She's a fragile zombie. The editors have an obsession with dangerous eye tricks today, cuz the next shot is of Michaelths adjusting his own cornea with a pair of tweezers.
  
  
  For goodness sakes, Michaelths! If you don't like the man in the mirror, start asking him to change his ways. Don't mutilate his eyes.
  
  
  Men, tweezers are good. But they require some MODERATION. Take out a couple hairs and then BACK AWAY.
  
  
  Congratulations. You're now officially an albino.
  
  Christopher watches Michaelths pluck for awhile and comments on how much quieter it is in their room. Yeah, cuz...you never talk. Like, ever. Unless it's to agree with Wretch about something and she's not here. Michaelth answers in a high nasally throat scratchy train derailing at high speed crack: "Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh?" EW. Shhhh.
  
  
  I liked when it was quiet.
  
  
  They're already feeling the pain of Passy's aufing. He took all the mushmouthed English sacrificing charm out of the place.
  
  
  Voy a hacer ropa vieja puta seora y yo nos grosero hacerlo perra vieja arrugada de naranja!
  
  Over in the other apartment, Chunky Mike is confessing to Trandy about getting snapped at by Heidi on the runway last week cuz he kept rolling his eyes at Hivy during her grilling. What is Trandy, your mom? Stop explaining your feelings, Chunk. Unless you're crying. I love when you cry. Please cry. Trandy tries to make him cry by forcing him to stare at his belly button.
  
  
  You wanna cry now?
  No. I'm not gonna cry.
  Cry. Look at ma belleh! CRY!
  Are you a boy?
  
  
  Other Asian (Really Guatemalan) Valerie teases Hivy about being so nonchalant on the runway while the judges called her a waste of dead space. Hivy laughs crazily. This could be because she isn't hearing the words "waste of dead space" or it could be because she just caught a rat in the bathroom and nothing makes Hivy happier than snack time.
  
  
  
  Hivy says she's been told many times that she has no talent but she's not gonna listen cuz she's a strong woman! Honey, the people who kept telling you that weren't being mean. They were giving you advice.
  
  
  Don't quit your day job. (air hug)
  
  
  People have told her she's not talented and has no chance, but if she had listened to them then she wouldn't be here... being told she's not talented and has no chance. It's fate!
  
  Chunky Mike has won a couple of challenges, so now he's super smarmy and snarky instead of victimy and weepy. So does that mean you're not gonna cry?
  
  
  Not gonna cry.
  
  
  He points out that opaque isn't a color, but if it was a color it would be called Hivy. Or OPAQUE. Chunk is trying on a few different personalities this season. Each one of them is obnoxious. Try on SILENT for a change. Or cry. Please cry.
  
  
  Nope. Not going to. I'm smarmy now.
  
  
  Speaking of opaque: guys, something is wrong with Wretch. She's the exact same color of the walls head to toe. If it weren't for her red hair I would just think that wall needed retexturing. Or knocking out.
  
  
  I'm sorry. This whole building will need to be demolished.
  
  
  Fat Bitch Heidi meets the designers on the runway wearing a simple black cocktail dress with not so subtle hip camouflage.
  
  
  Thank you for hiding those monstrosities from us, Heifer. TV is for thin people.
  
  
  Chunk is doing his dreamy I love you smile while Fat Bitch stutters. She's literally his angel, saving his ass week after week.
  
  
  Touched by a Fat Bitch
  
  With her haircut, Heidi is saying that she's uncomfortable with their relationship.
  
  
  Woah! Let's just take things One Day at a Time.
  
  
  
  Today's challenge will be looking at the past to secure their future. Heidi's like a fat little fortune cookie, ain't she?
  
  The whole concept of stepping back in time has Wretchen perplexed and intrigued. If you could take back even a second ago, say, you would have been able to tell yourself not to make this face.
  
  
  
  She doesn't want to be forced to make a corset. I don't want to be forced into having flashbacks of a surly ass Denny's waitress I had the displeasure of getting yelled at by once. Wanting doesn't equal getting.
  
  
  You said no bacon.
  
  
  Tim meets the kids over at Capsule Studio, where photos of Jackie O are waiting for them! They will be assigned models that have been cheated on and publicly humiliated and the goal is to get them to be so classy that their second husband is even richer than the first. I don't know of a woman who's ever been treated shittier looking...

Overboard: Stockholm-Syndrome Sex And Class Comeuppance [Girls On Film]

• Jul 01, 2010 from jezebel(Jezebel) in Entertainment
  &video;&security; The horrifying rumor is that Jennifer Lopez will star in an Overboard remake. She's no Goldie Hawn, though, as my sister says, Matthew McConaughey is inevitable for the Kurt Russell role. Let's look back at the flawed but addictive original.As with many previous Girls On Film subjects on heavy television rotation in the late 80s, I loved this film unreservedly as a kid. That is, until I read Susan Faludi's Backlash, which saw it in the context of late 80s Hollywood being "preoccupied with toning down independent women and drowning out their voices sometimes quite literally." She observes,
  
  "Keep your mouth closed," orders the carpenter (played, curiously, by Hawn's real life partner Kurt Russell), and she learns to like it....Overboard's haughty heiress refuses to reproduce. But by the end of the film after she is humiliated, forced to scrub floors and cook meals, and at last finds happiness as a housewife she tells her tyrannical new husband of her greatest goal in life: having "his" baby. Women who resist baby fever, by controlling their fertility or postponing motherhood, are shamed and penalized."
  
  Interestingly, the screenplay for Overboard was written by a woman, Leslie Dixon, who also wrote Mrs. Doubtfire. (It was directed, of course, by schlockmeister Garry Marshall.) Revisiting the movie this week, it's clear that Faludi was dead-on in her assessment when it comes to the humiliation of Hawn's character but she left out the class analysis, without which all this is incomplete. (And to be fair to Overboard, she doesn't say she wants "his" baby. As seen in the clip below, she says the one thing he can give her that she doesn't already have is "a little girl.")
  As the stuck-up Joanna, Hawn doesn't just need to learn to appreciate the salt-of-the-earth men around her; she also needs a good lay. In the beginning, she refuses to have sex with her effete, ridiculous husband because he wants a child (her mother coos, "But if you have a baby, you won't be the baby") or perhaps because she doesn't want to get dirtied up. "No job will ever be done to your satisfaction," taunts carpenter Dean Proffitt in their first dispute (seen above), shortly after grabbing his crotch, and the double entendre is clear. When she sobs, "Don't touch me," he hasn't actually touched her, and it's a hint at that menacing threat that women allegedly use against men: the false accusation of sexual assault.
  Joanna gets her comeuppance when she falls from the boat and gets amnesia, and no one wants to claim her except the wronged Dean, who pretends she is his wife in order to punish her for her contempt and refusal to pay him for his work.
  She essentially becomes his slave, and then she falls in love with her captor. But I find it so difficult to fully hate this movie faced with Hawn's underrated comedic acting. Here, she struggles to understand the life to which she has returned. "A falsetto child" still cracks me up every time.
  &video;&security;
  Joanna, re-christened Annie, has to contend with the domestic disaster that is the all-male Proffitt home. At first, following a hilarious montage of housekeeping mishaps, she nearly has a nervous breakdown. But then, slowly, like the Berenstain Bears' messy room, she transforms the household into a model of order: spotless, if still humble, full of kids doing their homework and learning to read. And her own resistance dissipates.
  &video;&security;
  But interestingly, Dean also has to change and it's the newly in-control Annie who calls him on his buddy-style parenting and Peter Pan ways.
  When Joanna is reclaimed, reluctantly, by her real-life husband, she returns to their yacht to find that she is utterly unsatisfied by her old life. And it's not necessarily because she wants a broom in her hand. It's because she wants a beer, to her mother's utter horror. And to say what she really thinks. And she still isn't interested in having sex with her doltish husband, who in her absence had been gleefully partying with Rielle Hunter and Tofutti Klein, her name an Eighties joke if there ever was one.
  &video;&security;
  So she goes down below and takes shots with the staff and apologizes to her attendant for how awful she was for him. He in turn provides her with some vintage Hollywood "sage servant" wisdom, about how very few people have the chance to live another person's life, another person's class roles and expectations. He has a point, and maybe this movie is as much about class empathy as it is about shaming the rich bitch.
  How is it, though, that the movie so neatly conflates female liberation with a life of spoiled privilege and elitism, rather than say, the freedom to work and pursue one's life goals? There are no working-class women in Overboard, aside from glimpses of Gertie at the bowling alley. There is a dour, middle-class teacher, but she's a cartoonish villain. Otherwise, the life of the true, solid worker is represented only by men: by the put-upon, all-male...

Halloween Reads for Boys and Ghouls

• Oct 11, 2010 from lunaroja(Abraham Velázquez Tello)
  Break out the carving knife and get the pan ready for those pumpkin seeds: its time for Halloween! While youre making jack-o-lanterns and adding spider webs to the tomb stones in your front yard, you might not want to miss out on three books that tell the history of Halloween and some very scary stories guaranteed to keep you up well passed the witching hour.
  For some neat spells and some interesting yet delicious recipes check out HALLOWEEN by Silver Ravenwolf. This book will take you on a journey through time on a witchs broom. From the Salem witch scare to the history of the very first pumpkin carvings, you will be enchanted by Ravenwolfs kitchen witch spells and the history of early American customs for this mystical holiday.
  Flip off the lights and turn on a flashlight because the Scary Stories treasury by Alvin Schwartz is the perfect book full of all the classic scariest stories to tell in the dark. With three books compiled into one, youll be peeing your pants with fright. My favorite is The White Satin Evening Gown where a young lady receives a used dress for a party but unexpectedly drops dead in the middle of the dance floor. It turns out that the dress previous occupant was a dead girl who wore it to her funeral. A greedy funeral assistant sold it to the unfortunate party girl and the formaldehyde seeped into her skin while she danced, eventually killing her. With stories like that, you are sure to loose some sleep. . . but what would Halloween be without a few scares?
  What is the origin of Halloween? Well your about to find out when you read A Halloween Anthology by Lisa Morton. This book is a collections of old school writings that still apply to the holiday and celebrations of Halloween in modern society. With a variety of authors, stories, and cultures histories, there is surely something to make you laugh, or turn the lights back on just in case those myths you are reading about are true! Witches poems from as early as 1584 and articles from a ladies magazines from the late 1800s will leave you gushing. There are also some great short fiction stories about monsters and vampires we cant help but fall in love with. With some folklore on the side and a touch of black and white pictures, I assure you, you will not want to put this fun book down.
  
  
  Related posts:Three Books to Bring Back to School
  Hot Reads for Hot Summer Days
  Bookworm Ready August Reads

Chocolate: Fun Interesting Facts and Resources About the Sweet

• Sep 15, 2010 from thefreeresource(The Free Resource) in *
  
  
  
  Fun Interesting Facts about The Sweet
  Chocolate: who doesnt like it? Surprisingly, this delicious melts-in-your-mouth treat has not been around for a very long time. It was originally experimented with as far back at the 1500s, but did not gain popularity until the 18th century, at which time it was far too expensive to be consumed by many. The latter half of the 1800s and the beginning of the 1900s has seen the largest development of the confection thus far in its history. Many of the most well known companies were started during this time including Ghirardelli, Nestl and Hershey Chocolate. The chocolate chip cookie was invented only 80 years ago. Imagine a life without chocolate chip cookies. The following facts give origin information and a brief history of the delectable treat.
  1. Cacao Trees typically grow in West African, Mexican and South American areas, where the climate is warm and moist
  These trees each produce 20 and 50 cacao beans, which can be up to 12 inches in length. Initially, ancient Aztec and Toltec civilizations used Cacao Beans as currency. While these trees have been in existence for thousands of years, researchers have found that their use for culinary exploration did not begin until 3000 years ago. It is believes that the Olmec people were the first users of the cacao bean as a dietary source.
  2. Daniel Peter was the first person to create Milk Chocolate
  Daniel Peter was born in 1836 in the mountains of Switzerland. His parents were wealthy, and he and his brother had proper upbringings. During his youth, Peter apprenticed with Madame Clement, working in her candle-making factory. He eventually came to control the factory with his brother Julien Peter. The two boys were so successful that they moved to a larger building. Unfortunately, only a few years later in 1865, kerosene was brought to Switzerland as an alternative light source, and the candle company downsized. The brothers decided to also open a chocolate business in part of the space that was no longer used for candle making.
  Daniel Peter formed a friendship with Henry Nestl, a neighbor of his, and together the two experimented with food together.
  The invention of milk chocolate was not easy, and took Daniel Peter many years of research and experimentation to perfect.
  3. Theobromine, an ingredient in chocolate can be lethal if consumed by dogs
  Theobromine is the foremost alkaloid in cocoa. The concentration of this alkaloid can range from 2% to 10%. In humans, Theobromine is used as a vasodialator, a cancer prevention agent, a diuretic and a heart stimulant.
  In animals, especially dogs, the substance is metabolized much slower than it is in humans. Because of this, animals can be poisoned by Theobromine by eating as little as two ounces of chocolate. Cats and birds are also sensitive to the substance, however they are less likely to ingest chocolate as they do not taste sweet foods, and therefore do not typically eat any when offered.
  4. Chocolate was not always as prevalent on Halloween as it is today
  Originally, Halloween was the Feast of the Dead, which was celebrate by dancing, eating and drinking around bonfires. These fires and dancing were undertaken to drive away evil spirits, ghosts, goblins, witches and demons.
  Trick or Treating began in Ireland, however the first participators were likely more aggressive than todays wee-ones. These door-to-door troublemakers carries sticks and clubs and demanded meat, sweets and drinks from homeowners.
  Todays celebration in the US has all-but lost its original meaning. Halloween has become one of the largest chocolate selling times of the year.
  5. On average, a person consumes between 10 and 20 pounds of chocolate annually
  In the United States, the average chocolate consumption per person annually is 11.64 pounds. The nutritional breakdown of 11.64 pounds of chocolate is 27,000 calories, 1,530 grams of fat, 1,130 milligrams cholesterol, 4,400 milligrams sodium, 3.150 grams carbohydrates and 350 grams protein. This puts the country in 11th place worldwide. In 2003, the top chocolate consuming countries worldwide were Switzerland (22.36 pounds per capita annually), Austria (20.13 pounds per capita annually), Ireland (19.47 pounds per capita annually), Germany (18.04 pounds per capita annually) and Norway (17.93 pounds per capita annually).
  6. Chocolate has a royal and prestigious history
  Louis XIV of France appointed a Royal Chocolate Maker to the King. Napoleon Bonaparte required that chocolate be made available only to himself and his senior military advisors at all times during his military travel.
  7. Baking chocolate was originally name after Dr. James Baker, and not after the purpose for which the chocolate was intended
  In 1765, Dr. James Baker began Bakers Chocolate Company with a partner, John Hannon. Their product was originally intended for making sweetened chocolate drinks by grating the chocolate into hot water. This was the case for many years, until in 1870, Bakers...

Funny Halloween Jokes for Everyone

• Sep 21, 2010 from costumehubstore(CostumeHUB) in *
  Clean Halloween Jokes
  * What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
  Bone appetite!
  * What is a ghouls favorite drink?
  Slime juice
  * What does Mrs Ghost serve for dessert?
  Ice scream
  * What do fishermen say on Halloween?
  Trick-or-trout!
  * Where do spooks go to post a parcel?
  The ghost office.
  * What did the vampire say to the Invisible Man?
  Long time, no see!
  * Why is Dracula so unpopular?
  Because hes a pain in the neck!
  * What runs around a cemetery but doesnt move?
  A fence!
  * What did the mother ghost say her children?
  Dont spook until youre spooken to.
  Witches Jokes for Halloween Witches
  * When is it bad luck to meet a black cat?
  When youre a mouse.
  * What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
  A sand-witch.
  * What is the most popular subject at a school for Witches?
  Spelling.
  * Why do witches fly on brooms?
  Vacuum cleaner cords arent long enough.
  * Why dont angry witches ride their brooms?
  Theyre afraid of flying off the handle.
  * What do witches put on their hair?
  Scare spray.
  * What do they teach at witches school?
  Spelling.
  * Why do witches wear name tags?
  So that they can tell witch is which!
  * What does a witch ask for in a hotel?
  Broom service.skeleton dance
  Ghost, Vampire, Mummy and Spook Halloween Gags
  * What do you call a skeleton who wont work?
  Lazy bones.
  * Whats a skeletons favourite musical instrument?
  A trom-bone!
  * Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
  Dayscare centres.
  * Why dont skeletons like parties?
  They have no body to dance with.
  * What was the favourite game at the ghosts birthday party?
  Hide and shriek.
  * What do the birds sing on Halloween?
  Twick or tweet.
  * Why do mummies make good employees?
  They get all wrapped up in their work.
  * Who did the ghost invite to his party?
  Anyone he could dig up!
  * Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
  His ghoul friend.
  * Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
  He didnt have a haunting license.
  * How can you tell if a vampire likes baseball?
  The night that he goes into a bat.
  * Where do spooks water ski?
  On Lake Erie.
  * Where do mummies go for a swim?
  To the dead sea.
  * What kind of streets do zombies like to haunt?
  Dead end streets.Witches flying on broomsticks jokes
  * What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
  Count duckula.
  * Whats a monsters favorite Shakespeare play?
  Romeo and ghouliet.
  * Who does Dracula get mail from?
  His fang club.
  * What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire ?
  Frostbite